Let us sample a parallel reality with Donald Trump, the Supreme Leader of North Korea and Kim Jong-un, the President of the United States of America. (Thank you so much, daily late-night talk hosts, for providing me with tons of material). 😉
Scene 1- Washington D.C, Oval Office: Kim Jong-un now occupies the body of President Trump, unbeknownst to anyone, even his closest aides.
Kim Jong-un (occupying the body of Trump)- I’m frustrated with these leaks to the media! Why doesn’t this country have only three state-approved channels?! You know, when even one channel goes against you, you throw them in a chamber full of Zyklon-B cyanide pellets!
Mike Pence (gasps)- Sir, what is wrong with you today? Are you feeling alright? We’re a democracy!
Kim- What could be wrong with me? Am I not always like this?
Pence (assuming Kim to be normal Donald Trump)– Sir, you’re….unpredictable….but never like this.
Kim- We’ll see. Summon the Head of the Defense Department. I need to conduct four missile tests before dinner.
Pence- Sir! If the United States conducts unauthorised military tests, this could have severe implications on our position in the U.N. Security Council.
Kim- Ohhhhh. Ha ha ha. Who cares about the U.N.? They’re just another body of silly diplomats achieving nothing. I only agreed to be part of them to, you know, conduct insurance frauds with the European Union member nations and help our economy.
Pence- Sir! That’s not the reason why we joined the U.N.! Don’t go out in front of the media or tweet today, please!
Kim- What is this ‘tweet’? And I only go out in front of the media on Daddy and Grandpa’s birthday, no?
Pence- ‘Tweet’ is the dangerous method of communication that you use to reveal our most confidential information to the public.
Kim (slaps Pence)- How dare you talk back to me?! I ‘leak’ nothing, ever. Don’t let me hear this again, or you’re going to the gallows.
Pence- Is my wife allowed there, Sir? No other women will be there, right?
Kim decides to take a walk outside in the front lawn of the White House while Pence recovers. He encounters several reporters.
Kim (addressing a group of reporters)- We’re the happiest people on Earth. We have free health care, the best education system and everything is government-owned, so everyone gets an equal share!
Reporter- Sir, free health care?! Have you, Congress and Mr. Mitch McConnell developed a new plan? And best education?! Have you fired Ms. Betsy DeVos?
Kim- We had free health care since the days of my father, no? And stop talking back to me or this is the last day that your channel will see.
Reporter- Sir, referring to us as ‘fake news’ was one thing, threatening to close us down is taking this to a whole new level!
Scene 2- Pyongyang, North Korea: Trump now occupies the body of Kim Jong-un, unbeknownst to anyone.
At the birthday parade of North Korea’s deceased leaders, Trump makes an appearance.
Trump- May their souls rest in peace.
Crowd- Hail our Supreme Leader!
Trump (addressing the crowd)- You know, I won the election last year. All the votes were in my favour and there was no electoral college to contradict anything. It was the ‘bigly’ victory that we all wanted. I broke all records. No single leader ever got everyone’s votes.
Associate/Seniormost Advisor/Kim’s sister (in whispers)– This gathering is for the leaders. You have to tell the crowd some legends about how they were godly men. Everyone knows you won the election. You were the only choice on the ballot!
Trump (ignores her)- It actually gets quite cold up here, doesn’t it? We should build some nice winter golf courses where they serve delicious chocolate cake. Also, China is pretty close by, right? President Jinping can visit me and we can have more chocolate cake together. I think I’ll invite Putin too.
Crowd is confused at this point.
Kim’s sister- Here we play basketball and the accordion, not golf. And you cannot just invite world leaders to our headquarters. There is a special protocol. Are you feeling well today?
Trump- No golf?! That’s why everyone in the crowd looks so sad. And if you call me Supreme Leader, I have the authority to invite whoever I want!
At this point, Trump stomps away from the balcony where he was giving his speech. Trump, later resettled at his residence, decides to tweet.
Tweet- North Korea threatens the United States with fire and fury like the world has never seen before!
Kim’s sister- What are you doing? Out of 1000 IP addresses in this country, 500 exist only in your office. Do not use them for such silly purposes. We must show our fire and fury with missile tests, not with tweets. Oh, and even our state media, who follow everything you say blindly, were rattled after your rambling at the gathering today.
Trump- The media is ‘fake news’.
Kim’s sister (exasperated)- You’re impossible! I knew Daddy made a mistake when he decided to hand over the control of our family regime to you!
So yes, this parallel reality is a complex (and humorous) concept, but to simplify it, I trust that Christopher Nolan will happen to come upon my blog, explore the concept and create another masterpiece like Inception on this topic. Sir, may I please, please, please play the part of Kim’s sister? 🙂